(She wasn't the first maid that I have developed feelings towards but thats for another story. I began to ask her about her life in Indonesia, and how she feels about Kuwait. She said "Kuwaiti family not good, always talking bad to you and say do this do that. No rest, I am human and I get tired." I can sense she had alot of ranting to do as I do understand and sympathize with her. Most families are pretty demanding of these women and have no sympathy for state of exhuastion as most of these maids walk up from 6 or 7am to clean the cars and get the k**s ready for the school and make breakfast, working non-stop till late night at 10 or 11pm to make dinner for the family. After she continued to rant about some members of my family, I came up behind her as she was facing the tv and I started to slowly massaging her back. She didn't move at first, but after a minute, she made shrugg notion as if to show that she felt uncomfortable as I felt her back trying to push my hands away. I told. I was a little hurt because I knew that I wouldn't go after a friend's boyfriend (stupid teenage promises) and even though I was sad, but I kept telling myself that it would be fine, they were crazy happy together. Who was I to stand in the way of what could be real love? And in my mind I kept thinking that if it came down to it, half of my feelings for Ethan might be stemming from the jealousy of him being with another girl..what if I ruined a good thing only to find that I didn't really want to be with him? Or worse what if I told Ethan how I felt for him and he laughed at me? I was happier with being kinda friends than nothing at all, though in all reality since being with Sarah I hadn't really heard from Ethan. I guess I really was scared of the rejection and was happier thinking fondly of him then thinking about how devastated I would be if I bared my soul to him only to find out he was madly in love with Starah and I was just a mild crush.Though I thought about him daily,.
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